When we talk about personality, we refer to an individual's normal way of life. The way by which an individual reacts to issues; the patterns of thought and behaviour are all used to describe their personality. It is also the characteristics of an individual that makes them different from others. When we talk about personality, we are referring to the traits, motives, habits, attitudes and beliefs of a person or group of people.
Three things to a great extent influence how personality is formed in an individual. They are: heredity, environment and situation. What do these mean?
HEREDITY- These are some of the attributes of an individual's personality that are determined by genes. Some of these are: height and size, appearance, gender, temperament, energy level, etc. These attributes are determined very much by your parents' own biological, physiological and genetic traits.
ENVIRONMENT- The environment where individuals are born and raised affects the process of their personality development. Whether it be culture, friends, family and lifestyle contribute to how we eventually turn out to be. Influences from the environment could be positive or negative but the fact remains that it plays a major role in how our personalities are shaped.
SITUATION- This third factor affects the impact of the environment and heredity on the individual's personality. Even though our personalities are mostly stable
and consistent, it does change depending on the situation.
HOW WE DEVELOP A POSITIVE PERSONALITYThere are several ways by which we develop our personalities. This process could lead to a negative or positive personality. Here are a few points on how we can develop a positive personality:
- Imaginary Anchoring/ Invisible Counseling CommitteeThis is a process by which we visualize great men or heroes and allow them influence the type of personality we develop. We can allow them influence us in various ways. For instance, in times of difficulty, we may try to get into the minds of those we respect and try to know what decision or action he or she would have taken if they were in our shoes. It is said that Winston Churchill practised this when Britain was at war. He used his Imaginary Counseling Committee alongside his cabinet to arrive at certain strategic decisions at the time.
- Body Language ApproachThis has to do with practising with the traits you desire whether you achieve your goal or not. We can change our negative traits with positive ones by practising the body language for positive traits.
- Direct exposure to good personalities or environmentThrough this method, we shape our personalities by direct contact with great people and mentors. In this way, we are enriched by their influences and lifestyle. We can also be influenced by the right structure and culture in an organization.
- The Defensive ApproachWith this approach, we protest the entry of any negative trait into our subconscious or we try to stay away from any environment or situation that would allow this.
- Reinforced or Conscious ProgrammingThis has to do with how we can program our subconscious mind to develop positive traits. It is an effective method by which the traits we desire can be cultivated easily. This is a conscious way of programming our minds and its ultimate effect influences our conscious and subconscious mind and shapes our personality and attitude.
THE SIXTEEN PRIMARY PERSONALITY TRAITSThere are sixteen primary personality traits:
1. Reserved vs Outgoing
2. Less Intelligent vs More Intelligent
3. Emotionally Unstable
vs Emotionally Stable
4. Submissive vs Dominant
5. Serious vs Happy
6. Expedient vs Conscientious
7. Timid vs Venturesome
8. Tough minded vs Sensitive
9. Trusting vs Suspicious
10. Practical vs Imaginative
11. Forthright vs Shrewd
12. Self-assured vs Apprehensive
13. Conservative vs Experimenting
14. Group dependant vs Self sufficient
15. Uncontrolled vs Controlled
16. Relaxed vs Tense
POSITIVE TRAITS THAT BUILD PERSONALITYThere are some positive traits you should have if you desire to build good and attractive personality.
1. Be empatheticThis is a good trait that would help you build a positive personality. Those who possess this character are interested in the feelings of others and always desire to be of help to someone else.
2. Be CourteousIt is not right to live with a bad attitude. You should learn to respect the opinions of people; treat them right; talk courteously to everyone regardless of age or status in the society.
3. Be HumbleHumility is a very positive trait and you should do all you can to develop that quality in your life. Learn to forgive people even before they hurt you. It is said that humility is the first of among all virtues and is a sign of greatness.
4. Practice Honesty, Integrity and SincerityThese three virtues are good qualities that every individual is expected to have. With them, you will excel in life and people will entrust great responsibilities to you. Honest people are valuable as no one will like to have a dishonest person as a friend. Integrity and Sincerity are values that will endear you to people and create opportunities for your in life. Strive to cultivate these traits in your life.
5. Be Understanding and CaringIt is good if you are understanding and caring for others as this draws people to your personality. Most people are unkind in words and actions, maybe, due to pressure or one problem or the other. Those who try to understand others make more friends.
6. Stop bearing grudgesYou are affected negatively when you carry grudges against anyone. Grudges bring bitterness and sometimes ill-health. When you carry anything negative in your heart against anyone, you are the one who is most affected. Sometimes, even the people you are feeling bad towards do not even know.
These thoughts on personality development will help you as you seek to learn more about yourself and others.